The First Trimester » announcing your pregnancy http://www.first-trimester.com The beginning of the bump. Fri, 17 Oct 2008 20:12:13 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 en hourly 1 Telling your boss that you are pregnant http://www.first-trimester.com/telling-your-boss-that-you-are-pregnant http://www.first-trimester.com/telling-your-boss-that-you-are-pregnant#comments Fri, 01 Aug 2008 19:25:41 +0000 Tracey http://www.first-trimester.com/firsttrimester/?p=205 To do before you tell your boss
  • Research your employer’s parental leave policy and know your rights. Reading your company manual, but be careful about talking to someone in human resources or your union. You want your boss to find out from you not the grapevine. Find out about maternity leave, leave with pay, and how your benefits work.
  • Research your employer’s health plan and find out what costs are covered for pregnancy.
  • Talk to your doctor or practitioner. They may have an opinion about how much time you should take off from work before and after depending on your health.
  • Think about what kind of maternity leave you might like to have. Do you think you’d like to have a couple months off after the baby or come back to work as soon as possible? Can you work from home? It’s hard to know everything now, but having an idea will help the conversation with your boss.
  • Look at your finances and know your options here.
  • Do not tell co-workers, vendors, etc. before telling your boss. This can create distrust which is not what you need before taking maternity leave.
    • When going to talk to your boss
    • Make an appointment so you have uninterrupted time to tell him or her the news and discuss how your maternity leave will go.
      • when your last day will be (usually 2 weeks before delivery)
      • when you will come back
      • what open projects you have and how they could get done
    • Talk about your future plans for working with the company. Some employers are more comfortable with maternity leave if they value you and feel like you are committed to your job.
    • Be flexible within reason. They do have a business to run. If you are going to be out for 6 months, you might have someone sitting at your desk for a little while.
    When should you tell your boss?

    Consider

    • Many women like to wait until after the first trimester before they telling the boss to rule out the possibility of miscarriage.
    • However, a miscarriage could result in a few days off from work. If your boss is already knows, he may be understanding.
    • If you don’t want to endure all the unsolicited birth stories from co-workers, ask your employer to keep your news to herself as long as she can.
    • If your pregnancy symptoms are strong enough to be obvious, you may need to tell your boss sooner than you think. For instance if you are so tired you need a nap every day or your morning sickness has you running every couple of hours, people will notice. You may find your co-workers will try to be more accommodating, which can make your first trimester much more pleasant.
    • If your job involves exposure to chemicals or any task that might be dangerous to your baby, you need to tell your boss immediately and take steps to protect yourself.
    • If you think your boss will not be positive, if you can wait until after a performance review or the completion of a project to tell him or her.
    • If you manage to keep your pregnancy to yourself through the first trimester, definitely alert your boss by the second trimester. You need to give him or her time to think about arrangements for your leave.

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    ]]>     http://www.first-trimester.com/telling-your-boss-that-you-are-pregnant/feed 0     Telling the father-to-be when you are reluctant http://www.first-trimester.com/telling-the-father-to-be-when-you-are-reluctant http://www.first-trimester.com/telling-the-father-to-be-when-you-are-reluctant#comments Wed, 16 Jul 2008 19:16:25 +0000 Tracey http://www.first-trimester.com/firsttrimester/?p=196 Finding out you are having a baby put you in a daze. And, one of the first things on your mind is telling your boyfriend or husband. Your pregnancy may be unexpected or an event you’re looking forward to. This makes a difference in how you feel about telling Dad.

    Breaking the Unexpected News

    You may be feeling a lot of emotions toward him. You may be angry with him, scared that he might leave you, or excited that he is looking forward to bringing a new life in the world. Any feeling you have right now is normal.

    In case you are not sure how he will react, here are some ways to prepare the discussion:

    • First, make sure you are pregnancy. Don’t guess or go on intuition-get a test.
    • Talk with people you trust can help ease your anxiety and help get you going you on getting the support you will need.
    • Practice by telling a person you trust.
    • Pick out a time and a place when both of you will be at ease and in a place with minimal distractions.
    • Don’t play games or try to make him guess the news. Be honest and inform him that the two of you have gotten pregnant together.
    • Don’t start on a negative tone, like, “I have really bad news…” Start with something positive like how much you value him.

    Brace yourself for his first reactions:

    • Silence—This is likely the first response. Remember how you felt when you first saw the positive test. You were probably speechless. When you first tell him he will probably act the same way. It doesn’t mean he isn’t interested or won’t support you. It may just take a day or two before a real conversation begins.
    • Give him time to sort out his feelings. You probably had time to think a little before telling him. Give him the same.
    • “I’ll support you with whatever you want to do”—This is also common. He may not understand the full extent of your needs. But his willingness to support you is a good sign.
    • “Is it mine?”—Yes, this is insensitive, but unfortunately it is also a common response. It is probably more a shock response versus a true belief about your relationship.
    • Address your feelings. Not with him at first–remember you need to give him a moment to think. Hopefully you will feel supported, but you may feel neglected, abandoned, or betrayed. No matter whom you choose to talk to, talk to someone. Don’t leave those feelings inside.

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    ]]>     http://www.first-trimester.com/telling-the-father-to-be-when-you-are-reluctant/feed 0     Telling your children that you are having a baby http://www.first-trimester.com/telling-your-children-that-you-are-having-a-baby http://www.first-trimester.com/telling-your-children-that-you-are-having-a-baby#comments Wed, 09 Jul 2008 19:24:17 +0000 Tracey http://www.first-trimester.com/firsttrimester/?p=203 If you have other children, you do want to make sure that you tell them before strangers recognize your pregnancy by the size of your abdomen.

    As you know, your younger children may be excited about a younger brother or sister, or may not have a positive reaction at all. Here is a rule of thumb.

    under 3 years old As your stomach gets much larger, you can talk about a new brother or sister, especially if your child expresses an interest in your growing stomach, but you don’t need to go into much detail at all.
    3 to 6 Tell them when your belly really starts to show or you can feel the movement. This way, the wait is not as long for your child as it is for everyone else. However, if you are having a more difficult time with your pregnancy (lots of morning sickness, bedrest, etc.) let your child know what is going on so they won’t worry.

    It is important to remember that a baby still inside “mommy’s tummy” is kind of confusing for a young child. The simplest way to tell your child is just to say that you are having a baby and that she or he will be a big sister or brother.

    If this child has been the baby for 3 or more years, take particular care to explain that the new baby will not take her place and that he or she is “still your baby”.
    7 to 10 You could wait until they can see the changes in your belly. Also keep in mind, they might find out from someone else. If there is a chance of this, it is better that you tell them first.

    Children are able to understand more about “the birds and the bees”, but if you are not comfortable giving them all the facts yet, let your child’s questions guide you. Answer what they want to know in just enough detail that satisfies them.
    10 to 12 Some children at this age won’t have a lot of interest in the pregnancy or new baby except to the extent that it disrupts his or her life. If your child is interested, certain involve him or her in the planning. If not, still make sure to make specific time with your tween to do his or her favorite activity. This is excellent for maintaining harmony and reinforcing what a wonderful child he or she is.

    If your child does not know already, this is the perfect opportunity to discuss how babies are made as well as sexual health responsibility.
    Teens This not-quite-adult may be excited about a new baby or completely upset or both depending on the day of the week. Take the opportunity on the good days to shop, decorate or clean. On the bad days, try to get them to talk.You may find their turmoil has nothing to do with new baby at all.

    No matter your child’s age, the most important thing is to remember to reassure your child, many times, that you will still love him or her just as much even after the baby is born. Children like to be reassured that they will not lose their place in their parents’ hearts.

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