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The Real Problem with the First Trimester of Pregnancy

There’s no bump yet. It’s just beginning. You might feel it, this hard pit in your stomach, as early as month three. Almost no one else knows it yet.

So if there’s no bump, you’re not really pregnant, yet.

Yeah, right.

The tender boobs, the nausea, the need to nap all tell you that you are definitely pregnant.

So you are in this in-between time. You don’t look pregnant yet and aren’t getting (yet) the pampering, the crooning, the sympathy, and the spoiling a woman with a big belly gets. Even people who know you are pregnant may not always remember that you are and offer you glass of wine or don’t offer to help bring the bags in. Oh, might not even dare to part in the pregnant women parking spots in case someone gives you an evil look. Heck, some days you wonder if you really are pregnant and when is it going to be really obvious to even you.

Oh, your time is coming, but you need some of that pampering now. That fatigue you are feeling is real. The indigestion is so annoying. The morning sickness is knocking you out on some days. And you want some company: to sympathize with your inconveniences, to give you break because you are making a baby 24/7, to share your joy with congratulations. You want people to know you are carrying this special little person and there is some bonding going on here.
So how do we go about this short of wearing a t-shirt everyday that says “pregnant woman coming through”?

• Start reading and keep reading – getting information is good. First, you will see that you are not alone in your experiences. Someone, somewhere has had the feelings or symptoms you have. Second, you would be frightened or worried at things that happen or don’t happen. With a good guide to pregnancy,you will know what is normal and OK and what should be questioned. You will probably find, more often than not, many things you are feeling are actually normal. Two excellent books (that I loved too)

• • What to Expect When You’re Expecting – the classic, undisputed guide to everything you need to know about being pregnant. And it may take you the whole pregnancy to read it, there is so much information. Don’t fear, Ms. Murkoffwrites in a way that is very friendly and readable and the information is clearly organized.
  • The Girlfriends’ Guide to Pregnancy – if you have a wicked sense of humor or are tired of all the seriousness, let this book give you laughs through your pregnancy (except labor – no woman in the history of time has laughed during active labor). Much of the experiences and advice has truch to it, some more tongue in cheek than others. Don’t worry- you’ll know the difference and you’ll enjoy a funny perspective from someone else who knows.

• Track your pregnancy – You have just begun an incredible journey, both physical and emotional. And you are starting a life-long connection to a whole new person to boot. How doyou feel? What’s going on with you? What are you thinking? This is a great time to buy a journal and j ot down your emotions, thoughts, questions and happenings. A journal can even help with your medical appointments, to keep track of what is going on with your body and symptoms. There are many specific “pregnancy journals”–a good one I like is The Belly Book–that have sections to record the unique things going on through a pregnancy. Any notebook will do as well. You should also consider this: a pregnancy journal is a one-of-a-kind keepsake you can keep will after she or he is born and share with your child when he or she is older. Not all children enjoy this–but many do want to know all about them, even when in your belly.

• Get in touch with your baby now – you can hear a heart beat even now. You may not have your first or next appointment for a month and no ultrasound on the horizon until about the 5th month or so, but your baby is active now and you can hear and check. Fetal heartbeat monitors sold in the stores are actually very good now. And one of the nice things about this type of monitor is that Dad, your parents, your friends and other can be involved in your pregnancy. They can actually hear the baby too.

Keep doing some of the things you were doing  –  as long as you safely can. If you were already a runner, you can still run. If you like dancing, go to the club a few more times (but stay away from second-hand smoke). Take advantage of this time in-between–where you know you’re going to be a mom, but you don’t have the mom / pregnant lady restrictions yet. Sleep on your stomach, enjoy a lazy Sunday afternoon, wear all your best heels when you go out (not only are they a bad idea while you are pregnant and your center of gravity is shifted, but you feet will have spread a half size when all is said and done–sorry). You’re life is going to change for good! Look forward to that, BUT, enjoy these last times of relatively worry-free quiet!

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